Monday, April 24, 2017

13 Eerie Movie Review

13 Eerie is a 2013 horror movie directed by Lowell Dean and starring Katharine Isabelle, Brendan Fehr and Brendan Fletcher.

Six forensic students go to an island called Eerie Strait,which used to be a place to put prisoners, to study dead bodies there. Their leader is Professor Tompkins(Michael Shanks) and he has his headquarters in a shack where he can watch the students as they work. They all have walkie talkies to check in with him. He puts them in groups of two and assigns them a different area. Along with the students and professor, they are joined by an ex con called Larry(Nick Moran) who drove them there in a bus and who is making food etc for them. He sees something weird in the woods. He finds a dead body that is not supposed to be there and he sees it twitch. He tells one of the students, Megan(Isabelle) and her partner, Kate(Kristie Patterson) about it. Kate goes to see if it is true and thinks that he is imagining it.

Larry is very worried now. Another student, Rob(Michael Eisner) sees something weird also and he tells his partner, Daniel(Fehr) who thinks that he is making it up. Kate is walking in the woods alone when something stirs. It is the dead body which has come to life. It is some sort of zombie and it chases her and attacks her in the woods. Kate makes her way back to Megan who helps her back to a cabin and tries to help her, but it is too late. Kate dies. What Megan doesn't know is that Kate is coming back- as a zombie. The walkie talkies go dead, cutting off communication. Now, isn't that lousy timing?? Megan battles the Kate zombie and manages to stop her.

The movie then takes another turn when we discover that there are more zombies on the island and that the island was used to perform experiments on life term prisoners and that the experiments went horribly wrong and resulted in these zombie like creatures. They are fast and they are mean!
People get chomped here and there and the remaining survivors battle the zombies. They manage to make it to the bus, but the zombies manage it too and they have to throw them off and try and drive away. A guy drives up to them and they take his car and throw him to the zombies. As they are ready to drive away, they realise, no keys...Who has them???Just guess....Yes, the zombie. The movie ends there with the survivors wondering what will they do now?

This was a fun movie. I had heard nothing about it and it starred Katharine Isabelle from the Ginger Snaps series of movies. The cast was good and the zombies were pretty good too. I liked that they looked mean and nasty and there was money put into this film to make it decent. I see that it didn't get great reviews, but I like to watch for myself before I make up my mind and I thought that this was good. There were some enjoyable moments and the ending make me laugh. It is a good premise and I think that this is a fun zombie film and I would say that it is worth a watch. It is not a brilliant movie by any means, but if you want to be entertained, then this will do it. I will give it a 5/10.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Nude Nuns With Big Guns Movie Review


Nude Nuns with Big Guns is a 2010 action/thriller movie directed by Joseph Guzman and starring Asun Ortega.

This film has not much in the way of plot but here goes...There is an alliance between the church and drug dealers in Mexico. The drug dealers are using nuns and priests to traffic their drugs and the big boss is called The Padre. He is in league with the crooks and has hired a biker gang called Los Muertos led by psycho creep Chavo. He has two sidekicks called Kickstand and Half Breed. They go around raping and murdering anyone who comes into their patch. They are making a trade when one of the nuns, Sister Sarah(Ortega),hides some drugs and she is caught by Chavo who takes her off to use her as a prostitute. She has been pumped full of drugs and used and abused. She is rescued by a guy who works for Chavo and he makes the mistake of giving her a gun. She kills him and heads off, making a plan for revenge against those who have hurt her.

She and another nun called Sister Angelina are holed up together. They are lovers and they have been for a long time. Angelina is helping Sarah to get vengeance on those who used and abused her. Sarah has become a cold blooded killer and she goes around shooting everyone in the drugs ring, including priests. The Padre is getting scared and he tells Chavo to go and get her and kill her. Sarah gets shot when she confronts some of the bad priests and she goes to a motel to patch herself up. She is spotted by the owner who tells Chavo where she is. Sarah escapes by killing the owner and there is an inevitable showdown where Sarah kills all of Chavo's guys. You would think that all would be well after this, but the ending of the movie shows The Padre hiring a hit man called Father John to get Sarah so this is open for a sequel which hasn't happened yet.

This movie was hilarious. I laughed so much at this. It is comedy more than anything else, I think.
I found it ridiculous in parts and there were plenty of nude scenes and women swinging everything around so it is clearly geared towards the male audience. I enjoyed it, though. It was weirdly entertaining and it keep me interested until the end. I especially enjoyed the part where Sarah shot off Chavo's dick and he picked it up off of the floor and looked at it. That has to be seen to be believed! So, if you like lots of boobs, lots of shooting and lots of nuns, then this is certainly for you! It was just hilarious in my opinion and it kept me laughing so I am giving it a 4/10.
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